Are you the person people feel drawn to? The person who makes everyone feel at ease and welcome? The one everyone enjoys being around? Do you know someone like this?
Maybe it is you. If not, it could be.
How can we do this? One way is to be grateful. Developing an attitude of gratitude leads to a more likable personality; this applies to your opinion of yourself as well as others.
Research indicates that grateful people have higher social capital. A study by The John Templeton Foundation found that 46% of us believe grateful people have more friends.
Here are some great ways to increase your likability.
People like individuals who are sincerely appreciative. When you ask for something, ask in a polite, friendly tone. A pleasant please increases the likelihood that you get what you need when you need it.
2. Likeable people offer meaningful compliments. They do not hold back when it comes to well-deserved praise. They express their appreciation with sincere compliments—never manipulative, self-serving, or fawning. They write thank you notes.
Everyone loves praise that comes from the heart.
3. Likeable people ask. They foster cooperation by approaching a situation with an attitude of appreciation.
A friend of mine received a two-sentence follow-up email from a new acquaintance that included, “This is a reminder to be at Starbucks at 2 pm today for our meeting.” Although the sender meant well, my friend was a bit put-off by the somewhat demanding tone. I am sure what the sender meant was, “I look forward to seeing you at Starbucks today at 2 pm.”
This person seemed like a nice, helpful person, so my friend kept the appointment. As it turned out, this person is warm and friendly in a one-on-one setting.
Chances are most people don’t realize that their emails come across as insistent or curt. When I am rushed, stressed or under a tight deadline, it takes extra effort on my part to speak with kindness, civility and courtesy. Slow down, breathe and avoid a rushed, rude or demanding “do it now” tone.
4. Likeable people help others. Grateful people know their life would not be what it is without others. They have a desire to give back—help others.
Cultivating an attitude of gratitude creates the willingness to be kind and thoughtful. Hold the door for others. Help children and families in the community and abroad. Help people connect by introducing them to others. These are traits we like and appreciate.
5. Likeable people acknowledge help from others. How often do you take time to thank those who helped make an important connection? When was the last time you told someone how much you appreciate their helpful advice or guidance?
Kudos if you have thanked them verbally. Now take it a step further and express your appreciation in a way they will not forget—send them a handwritten thank you note. Moreover, if you are truly grateful, give the note to them over lunch or coffee—your treat!
Likable people take time to sincerely tell others what they appreciate about them and why they value specific traits or actions. Expressing gratitude fosters likability and happiness.
The more time you spend thinking grateful thoughts, committing grateful acts and sharing these with others, the more joy you bring into your life as well as the lives of others.
Purposeful acts of gratitude have a ripple effect. I challenge you to start that ripple each morning. Choose to start the day with a purposeful act of gratitude and watch your likability rating rise!
I am grateful for each person who reads my thoughts. I hope you find them helpful.
5 Ways Gratitude Makes You More Likeable is the first in a series of three articles on likability and gratitude. Why We Like Grateful People and Do You Like Me? Do I Like Me? complete the series.
LaDonna Greiner is a motivational coach and speaker. She is a life-long student of gratitude and author of the book series, 21 Reasons to Say Thank You. Her books provide businesses and individuals with the tools and practical guidance needed to help them express gratitude and appreciation to others through handwritten notes and other activities. Learn more at www.21ReasonsToSayThank You.com/store/.